Tasty Marketing.
That’s how I would review the 2008 San Antonio NWWFF if I only had two words to do so. Thankfully I have as much space as Blogger allows, which affords me enough room to do as I please. Check out my poem* to American electronic excess:
*snaps* Thank you! Thank you….you’re too kind. *snaps*
Two words aren’t enough to review a tasting event and two bites aren’t enough to review a restaurant. I really feel for the chefs that were tasked with creating a single appetizer to be indicative of their restaurants’ entire dining experience. Especially since they were limited to the type of cooking utensils permitted in a college dormitory.
That’s how I would review the 2008 San Antonio NWWFF if I only had two words to do so. Thankfully I have as much space as Blogger allows, which affords me enough room to do as I please. Check out my poem* to American electronic excess:
Wasted space to use
Endless Gigabytes of room
Must use it now
Two words aren’t enough to review a tasting event and two bites aren’t enough to review a restaurant. I really feel for the chefs that were tasked with creating a single appetizer to be indicative of their restaurants’ entire dining experience. Especially since they were limited to the type of cooking utensils permitted in a college dormitory.
With a mix of caterers, hotel restaurants, and stand-alone establishments, the clear advantage is to the caterers. They were much better prepared for serving large quantities of patrons from behind a folding table. I should hope that would be the case, as this is their (excuse the pun) bread and butter. Most of their names were forgettable, especially since I’m not currently seeking a chef for a bar mitzvah.I didn’t really know what to expect from the “Grand Tasting”, so I thought it might be a nice public service to share my experience for all of those who might find themselves in my “newbie” position.
After locating the “Grotto” of the Henry B Gonzales convention center, we walked up to a table of chipper, multicultural Stepford wives who were able to collect money (or tickets – HEB has them cheaper) and dispense wristbands. A simple question like “So how does this work?” was greeted with a blank facial expression that told me “You just eat and drink stuff you moron!”
And it really is that simple. I quickly discovered that the proper etiquette is to feign interest in the purveyor’s offerings just long enough to not seem like a worthless freeloader. On the other hand, we paid $80 each for our wristbands and wine glasses, so my inner cheapness wanted to down shots of Merlot like a frat boy in Cabo. I suppose that the extra level of courtesy (and the entry fee) ensures the event stays classy, which is a laudable goal. And most people seemed to be dressed appropriately, despite the oxymoronic request of “dressy casual” found on their website. Emily Post must be rolling in her grave.
On to the food:
Pesca brought some delightful fried oysters that made me add it to the list of restaurants that I would like to try.
Francesca’s was trying too hard to cram too many flavors into their salmon-topped stuffed pita morsel.
Grey Moss Inn felt uninspired with their steak/crab/gorgonzola appetizer. Sounds great, tastes mediocre.
Achiote kept it simple and tasty with Peruvian sweet potatoes with great presentation.
Paloma Blanca had a very generic dish of chicken and rice. Despite being one of my favorite Mexican restaurants in town, you would never guess it from this event.
The St Anthony Hotel did a great job by combining a small portion of ceviche with a tequila chaser. The overall effect was memorable.
The Cypress Grill from Boerne caught my attention with a memorable ice cream cone stuffed with tuna and wasabi.
The Grill and Le Toile shared an unimpressive booth with a bland pasta dish, proving to be yet another good restaurant that missed the mark at the tasting.
The Jason Dady trio (The Lodge, Bin 555, and Tre Trattoria) came well prepared with a taste of each restaurant. The dense chocolate cake from Bin 555 was my favorite of the three. I’ve got to be nice because Chef Dady says that he keeps up with this blog ever since I reviewed Tre Trattoria.
And the wine:
It was all free, and all good. I’m easy when it comes to wine. Mey enjoyed the 2006 Virtu Meritage, but many decent wines passed through my wine glass that evening with little notice. Just in case you didn’t know, the unmarked pitchers of wine are spittoons and are NOT intended for your pouring convenience. Just trying to watch your back…
Food: 3 Cuy (on average)
Ambiance: 4 Cuy (The Grotto) 2 Cuy (Inside)
Service: 1 Cuy
Value: 2 Cuy
Overall:
.
.
.
I’m glad I tried it, but unless you're dating this person I would recommend you spend your money on a nice meal that doesn't require juggling a styrofoam plate, a spork, and a glass of wine.
*I have had several requests to remove my original three-verse poem "Wasted Space" for the sake of brevity, clarity, and humor. I have instead chosen to replace it with a new original work entitled "Wasted Space". Sadly I used all of my creativity on the poem and had none left for the title. I realize that this is perhaps not my best blog entry, but it's been more than three weeks since I last made an entry....so there you go. Enjoy. And be sure to tell me you like it. Or don't. Your approval means nothing to me.
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