SoGo

Do you remember when the economy was good? Way back in the day (circa 2006) a restaurant called Eclipse Café opened on the corner of Northwest Military and Huebner road. Times were good and this brightly-lit café was an ideal getaway for Shavano Park housewives to “lunch”. The food was fair, but a little pricey for what it was. Since then three dozen banks have failed, the housewives lost some home equity and the space is now used by this place.

Now Eclipse Café has moved to the Stone Oak area under the new name SoGo and has fired the waitstaff in the conversion to a deli-style counter. What’s that you say? SoGo has no relation to Eclipse Café? Surely it must have at least the same busboy as Eclipse…but they don’t. One of the chefs is a high school friend of mine, and he hadn’t even heard of Eclipse.

There are a few touches that differentiate the two. For example, SoGo is aimed more at the Stone-Oaker on the go, including meatloaf and pastrami by the pound and several side dishes.

I ordered some Red Snapper served over risotto with cooked spinach. The fish was covered with a very nice cream sauce and it all combined very well, with the minor criticism of slightly over-salty spinach. Mey’s strawberry salad was decent (the orange bread was squishy and unusual, but in a good way), and I’ll admit that my sweet tooth stole most of her carrot cake.

We sat at the window against a bar in contemporary barstools while facing a massive church, but not because the atmosphere is something to be avoided. The chef told me that they were shooting for a “contemporary general-store feel” which just about covers it. I really dig the furniture, with the dining area looking like a page in a West Elm catalog.

I must say that I regret ordering one of the pricier items on the blackboard. Not that it wasn’t good, but for that kind of coin the lunchtime competition includes seated restaurants like Tre Trattoria. We coughed up about half a Benjamin for lunch including a glass of chardonnay, coffee and a slice of cake. Stick to the sandwiches and you can get out for closer to half that amount.

The couple sitting to my right ordered a pair of spectacular sandwiches, leaving me with something to try for next time. I suspect the sandwiches are SoGo’s forte, so I’ll be back for more.

Service: N/A (Deli Counter)

Ambiance: 4 Cuy

Food: 3.5 Cuy
Value: 3 Cuy

Overall:

Is your date so ugly that you don't want to be seen in public? Get some takeout from this place and take it back to your bachelor pad. I really hope (for your sake) that she has a good personality....

Turquoise Grill

Turquoise Grill seems like an odd name for a restaurant. My mind (and google) immediately conjures up an image like this:

Thankfully their website gives a better explanation: “Turquoise comes from Old French for Turkish”. I learned something new today.

If you are a sandal-wearing, world music lover who boasts about not owning a television then you likely already know what Turkish food is.

Perhaps you are well-traveled Italian and have already encountered Anatolian cuisine in your pursuit for a better trade route to China.

I’m neither of those guys, so it was new to me.

As we walk into the dining room the sitar is pumping over the speakers loudly enough to make me think that I forgot to pay a cover charge. It turns out the reason for the loud, rhythmic tune was that Turquoise Grill brings in a belly dancer to perform on Friday evenings.

It was an odd thing to watch. On one hand it was a brilliant technical display with intricate motions seemingly impossible to anyone with a normal human skeleton. Truly fascinating. On the other hand I was acutely aware that I was essentially watching a scantily clad exotic dancer while sitting next to my wife. Awkward….

A couple of songs later and the show was over, allowing us to carry on a conversation without shouting. The bread was a great start to the meal and when the waitress came by to get our drink order, I felt daring enough to try something called Ayran. The description listed on the menu said “cold yogurt drink” which was brutally accurate. Imagine throwing half a pound of plain yogurt in a blender along with a tiny drop of milk to liquefy the mixture. Every time I took a sip the yogurt would leave a ring of residue around the glass like an old oak tree showing its age. There were many shallow rings on my goblet before I switched to water.* I can’t say that it wasn’t interesting, since it did complement the flavors of the food surprisingly well.

Which isn’t to say the food was bad at all. Quite the contrary. Mey ordered the Doner Kebab and I went with the Lamb Shank a la Turca which were both very good. My dish looked spectacular with the blunt-looking lamb covered with the delicate flavor of an eggplant. If you look back to my review of Shiraz, you’ll find that I ordered a similar entree which was done a little better – albeit at a higher price – at the Olmos Park establishment.

Mey’s dish didn’t look as spectacular, but the flavor of the slow-grilled beef and lamb was phenomenal. It tasted a bit like gyro meat, but juicier.

We sampled some rice pudding and baklava for dessert, but the main course filled me up so that I couldn’t properly appreciate the flaky pastry or the complex pudding. Both were good complements to the after-dinner reappearance of the jolly tambourine-playing owner and the belly dancer.

Ambiance: 3 Cuy (4 Cuy on Friday nights)
Service: 2.5 Cuy
Food: 4 Cuy
Value: 4 Cuy

Overall:

.

.
.
Dating a down-to-earth girl who can look past the shady shopping center? Bring her here - but not on a Friday.

*But not their fault – I’m just not a fan.

Mariposa - Neiman Marcus

Ok, so I broke the chain rule. For my dorky engineering friends I need to clarify; not this chain rule:

but rather the rule that I made to abstain from reviewing chain restaurants. Don’t expect a deluge of Olive Garden retrospectives, but rules are made to be broken - except for the actual chain rule, which I wouldn’t dare disparage. I’m such a bad boy.

What’s that you say? Bad boys don’t have brunch at Neiman Marcus?

You’ve got me. Maybe I need leather pants. On with the review.

Ever wish that you could eat Quiche and buy a $3,400 Marc Jacobs dress in the same building?

Want a salmon burger and a $3,500 Valentino Tote?

Got a craving for Chicken Tetrazzini and a $115 unremarkable Armani T-shirt?

Me neither.


But the food at Mariposa is pretty good, and the ambiance is great if you like open modern stuff (which I do). The San Antonio Current named Mariposa among their list of the “Best Places to Feel Like You’re Not in SA”, which I find to be an unusual honor for Neiman Marcus to place so prominently on their website. Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, but I take this as boasting the “Best Place to Escape the Proletariat”. This is certainly an odd distinction coming from a popular countercultural left-wing periodical like the Current.

The virtue in this assertion is that the service is a great value with the waiters including the small touches typically found at more expensive restaurants. It shows that they have experience catering to the whimsy of upscale clientele. In fact the next time I go I’ll probably wear something nicer than my Journey Concert Tee and torn Levi’s. Live and learn.*

Fortunately my attire didn’t stop them from placing a tasty shrimp bisque in the middle of the tasteful mid-century modern place setting.



It had all the characteristics that I look for in a good soup:

• Proper temperature - check
• Good consistency - check
• Good flavor - check

We moved on to the main course (and special of the day) of shrimp quiche. The flavors lit up my senses with a euphoria typically relegated to substances smuggled across the border in an immigrant’s body cavity. I anticipated each bite with the trembling enthusiasm of a 15-year-old boy who has wormed his way into a topless bar.

Ok, not really.


The quiche looked every bit of it, but the flavor didn’t match the presentation. It wasn’t bad, as the crust and eggs were light and fluffy and the shrimp was a delicate complement rather than an overpowering theme. But if you were to detach yourself from the appetizing appearance, you would discover the quiche had as much passion as the Land Rover driving soccer moms that peppered the restaurant. And they appeared to be essentially ironing boards with tennis bracelets.

Would I go back solely for the food?

Probably not. But the ambiance is so serene and affluent that it’s easy to momentarily forget that you can’t afford the positively obscene diamond-encrusted crystal goblet thirty steps from your table in the “housewares for the rich and famous” department.
So go ahead and have that second espresso and appreciate Mariposa for what it is: a place to escape the “working class” for a little while - even if you happen to be one of them like me.

.

Food: 3 Cuy

Service: 4.5 Cuy

Ambiance: 4.5 Cuy

Value: 3 Cuy

.

Overall:

.

.

.

Are you dating someone who looks like the mannequins at Neiman Marcus and uses the word "Brunch" as a verb? Bring her here and bring your American Express, because Neiman Marcus doesn't accept Visa or MasterCard.

.

*Ok, so I wasn't actually wearing a Journey T-Shirt, but I did feel a little underdressed wearing an Old Navy long sleeve shirt.

.

Bonus points to whomever can differentiate the following equation using the chain rule:

f(x) = (x^2 + 1)^3

Cafe Paladar

...is closing.  I'm on their email list and I received the following message yesterday:

Dear Friends,

I am writing this letter to let you know that after three years of labored restaurant love, Brian and I have decided to close our beautiful restaurant, Cafe Paladar.  The bad economy and increased number of new restaurants in our area took its toll on us this year and after a long hard fight, it is now time to let it go.  We are saddened but our spirit is not broken.  We trust God and know He must have better plans for us in the future.  I will return to flying full time with Southwest Airlines and Chef Brian will begin searching for an Executive Chef position here in San Antonio.  We would like to continue catering for those of you who have any type of special occasion coming up; so please keep us in mind.  Our Cafe Paladar website will continue to be online indefinately with information on how to get in touch with us.  We would like to give all of you our sincerest gratitude for your support and friendship.  We learned so much running this restaurant and had a blast doing so, but, the biggest blessing was meeting so many wonderful people.  We are leaving with an abundance of great memories due to you.  So many, that we can't imagine not opening another great restaurant again someday.  We are truly Americans with an entrepreneurial spirit!!  We love you, we'll miss you, and we hope to see again.  Thank you  and God bless.

 

Sincerely,

Chef Brian and Mary Esther West   

Owners of Cafe Paladar

Although I haven't blogged about this restaurant, I've dined there a couple of times and enjoyed the experience.  The food was varied and complex, although prices were a bit on the high side.  I distinctly remember the tasty bacon wrapped dates being an excellent choice of tapa.  I might have to swing by and grab a few more before the place shuts the doors for the last time.

If you want to give them a try before they kick the bucket, you can find the restaurant on the web at 

www.cafepaladar.com

or just show up at

18322 Sonterra Place
Suite 103 San Antonio, TX 78258
Phone: 210.798.7200

Europa

It’s 6pm on an unremarkable Tuesday. You’re on your way home from a hard day at the office when the phone rings. The husky voice on the other end demands that you bring specific items to a neutral location in ten minutes or you’ll never see your family again. The kidnapper with the muffled Eastern-European accent requests:

• 4 cans of Norwegian Cod Liver
• 2 boxes of Italian Polenta
• Polish Krupnik Soup – with mushroom and barley flavor
• Amish Cheese
• 7 links of Nuernberger Bratwurst
• 3 Italian Silk Ties
• And a Muffuletta Sandwich

What do you do?

Start writing a eulogy. There’s no way that you’ll get to Europa to snag these items in ten minutes with Stone Oak’s traffic.

But you should probably head there anyway for a comforting Prosciutto sandwich to help you mourn your loss. Chicago Bar is conveniently next door in case you feel up to finding a replacement spouse after filing the police report.

We made a precautionary trial run on Monday afternoon at Rich’s recommendation. After all - you never know when a kidnapper is going to abduct your family (highly unlikely) and request obscure European grocery items (absurdly improbable).

After walking in the front door you are immediately struck by the schizophrenic nature of this store. On one hand the dispassionately sterile, characterless edifice leads you to expect Wal-Mart shelving with neatly displayed Proctor & Gamble goods. On closer inspection you’ll find the well-organized displays are not filled with the trappings of suburbia but rather with foreign cooking items sitting awkwardly next to one another like a United Nations of pedestrian food.

I asked a pleasant Italian woman (the owner) for her suggestion. Her response:

“I’m around this stuff all day so, truthfully, I’m sick of all of them.”

Less than comforting, but I appreciate the honesty. She went on to mention that the Muffuletta was available although not shown on the menu. Mey was sold on the olive-filled Muffuletta and I went with a more conservative Serrano Ham sandwich. Some artichoke dip held us over while the cashier/hostess/chef/butcher/owner gradually attended to the two other customers on this lazy Monday.

The fruits of her labor were two flavorful sandwiches with distinctly different characters.

I would liken the muffuletta to a slender bra-less Greek woman with the self-confidence of an investment banker and a nose large enough to detect her own mildly intrusive body odor. Overwhelming yet delicious, olive dominates this sandwich and sears the salami flavor in your mind making a concoction seemingly too grandiose for a deli counter. If it hadn’t been served on mediocre bread next to a pickle spear it could easily be mistaken for more elevated cuisine.


My Serrano ham sandwich was good, but was more similar to a Volkswagen Golf than a bra-less Greek woman. Certainly not without flavor or utility, it was comprised more of well-executed familiarity and less of intriguing individuality.

As we watched the jovial Italian owner tally our diminutive $20 tab using the same cash register often seen at Southside taquerias, it made me wonder if there is room in Stone Oak for a Deli like this. Sharing a shopping center with a Wine Bar and a 24-hour childcare center paints a picture of a neighborhood more suited for a drive-thru mass-produced Quiznos (literally right across the street) than a unique offering like Europa.

I hope I’m wrong on that one.

Food: 4 Cuy
Service: 4 Cuy
Ambiance: 4 Cuy
Value: 4.5 Cuy

Overall:
.
.


Are you dating a shy eastern european woman who's not yet sure if you're a predator? Take her on a nice casual lunch date to this place.

I'd like to give a shout out to Rich and Caroline for turning us to this place.   He also wrote an excellent review with more pictures that can be found here.

Oloroso

I like Southtown. If property values are any indication, I’m not alone.

As a pseudo-yuppie, you would think that I would be at odds with hippie/artsy Southtown, but it’s actually a symbiotic relationship. Without these cultured artists, yuppies wouldn’t have:

• Stuff to hang on the white walls of our minimalist suburban houses


• Folksy music to listen to while driving our European cars


• Sad monochromatic cinema


• Meaningful poetry to pare down to meaningless motivational posters


• Desirable gentrified neighborhoods with character like Southtown

On the other hand, if it weren’t for yuppies, the artists wouldn’t have:

• Rent Money


• Gas Money


• Grocery Money


• Money for mind-altering pharmaceuticals

So it’s a win-win situation. It seems that out of this equation came my favorite coffee shop (Casa Chiapas) and several unique restaurants including a relatively new venture called “Oloroso”.

Oloroso boasts on its website that their menu is “structured to use seasonal produce from sustainable south and central Texas farms”.

Wow.

I almost feel bad that our table of six people valet parked four cars – three of which were built outside the US and shipped here*. Good thing I’m not a hippie; I don’t think I could squeeze my carbon footprint into a pair of woven hemp Birkenstocks.

The menu had a lot of interesting choices ranging from Scallops (locally sourced?) to Rabbit. Our waitress was very nice and capable, but the service felt like a good high school play. The motions were correct (Glasses were full, crumbs were cleared, etc), but the confidence and nuance were lacking (“I just learned how to pronounce Charcutiere!”). It was charming in its candor, but not what I expected.

I started with the “Grilled Marinated Quail with spicy Herb Salad, grilled Piquillo Peppers and Sherry Onion Relish” as an appetizer and it was good stuff. A quail egg was served on top and proved to be the most flavorful egg I’ve ever had despite its diminutive size. The quail was quite good and the gamey taste went well with the onion relish.

Next up was the “Seared Diver Scallops on top of Parsley Root Puree, roasted Kohlrabi and Wild Mushrooms finished with a Sherry Reduction and Prosciutto”. Quite a mouthful.

It looked impressive with the large scallops spaced horizontally across the oblong plate and artfully dressed with Prosciutto. The flavor was good too, but it didn’t knock my socks the way my eyes told my mouth it would. Perhaps my expectations were a little high, but after sampling Mey’s decidedly average Roasted Pork Loin, I couldn’t in good conscience give exemplary cuy marks to the food.

The Chocolate Pots du Crème (Chocolate Mousse as far as I can tell) was an excellent finish to the meal, with a rich flavor complemented by fruits and nuts. The portions were proper and had me rubbing my belly with gluttonous glee as the meal came to an end.

While waiting for the check we watched the energetic valet positioning our cars as though they were F-14 Tomcats on the flight deck. The result was an impressive sight; the four cars were stacked in formation with each driver’s door propped open as if to say “I missed you – come drive me”. A most impressive valet.

I recommend this place. The food is good, the atmosphere is pleasant, and it’ll make you feel like one of those hip art-patronizing yuppies that’s “in the know”.

Food: 4 Cuys
Ambiance: 4.5 Cuys
Service: 3.5 Cuys
Value: 3.5 Cuys

Overall:

.

.

.

Dating a woman who pulls her American Express from a Prada purse to buy a Carbon Offset? If she also listens to world music from artists you've never heard of, then this might be a good place for the two of you.

.

.

*Extra points to anyone who can guess which one of our four cars was built in the heartland of America (in my birth-state). Please post your answer in the comments section. Note that only one of these vehicles was built in a place where English is the primary language:

Honda S2000
Acura TL
Mazda RX8
Pontiac Trans-Am WS6

The Grill at Leon Springs - Sunday Brunch Buffet

Ah yes….brunch.

I’ve always thought of brunch as a culinary peculiarity capitalizing primarily on three demographics: church-goers, the elderly, and yuppie married couples. Basically, the people wearing slacks on a Sunday.

But I hold a special place in my heart for whoever made it socially acceptable to drink booze before noon on the “Lord’s day”. Remember - you’re not an alcoholic as long as it’s mixed with juice and served in a champagne glass….

As a side note, Mey giggles a bit every time she orders a Champagne and OJ cocktail. It seems that “Mimosa” is a common brand of feminine sanitary napkin in Peru.

On to the review…
After a spirited top-down drive down through the hill country in Mey’s car, we found ourselves in Leon Springs with a hankerin’ for some breakfast. We walked into a rather empty restaurant at about 11:45, ordered some cranberry juice and made our way to the buffet.

Since everyone has the attention span of a gnat these days (myself included), here’s the lowdown on The Grill via PowerPoint. Click on the drop down arrow to zoom in if you'd like. Or click on the link to go to a bigger view.

The Grill

Publish at Scribd or explore others:

I feel a little un-American saying this, but…..the portions were too big. I know, I know… I might as well confess that I think monster trucks are vulgar and that Pamela Anderson is excessively endowed. So what's the problem with large portions? I ended up feeling like an overindulgent slob for not cleaning my plate, and I didn't get to taste a bit of everything. My tastebuds are promiscuous.

I feel it was a bit overpriced. In today rough economic times, a $19/person brunch buffet should include coffee and juice. It didn’t. Total bill (including tip) came to about $60.

I suppose nobody told Chef Thierry that we’ve had two consecutive quarters of contracting GDP. I don't think he's worried as it seems he has enough coin to spring for a slick new website.

This isn't really a full review, so I'll forgo the detailed Cuy breakdown and just stick to the overall score. Drumroll please........

Overall:




.
Did you just roll out of a Cougar's bed in the Dominion? Get her to take you here in the morning. Don't spend your hard earned coin and it'll be a lot more enjoyable.

If anyone knows of a better way to upload and link to a ppt file, please feel free to leave a comment for me with instructions. Thanks!